To ‘my pre-20-something-year-old self’
Most people believe: “your 20s are the best times of your life”- a time of growth, finding yourself, the perfect job or even that special someone to share your bathroom sink with.
But, contrary to that, being in your 20s is more difficult than that! It's no wonder why other 20-something-year-olds have dubbed this a ‘Quarter-life crisis”.
It’s about being lost, uninspired, broke (and, for many, drowning in student loan debt), unemployed and sharing a bathroom with not only ONE but, what seems to be, 100 other housemates.
So, I decided to write a letter to my ‘pre-20 year-old-self’:
Dear Modiehi
In the next few years you’ll wrestle wildly with a few things, mainly: identity and purpose.
You will ask who you are in relation to: marriage, education, religion, career, politics, and your stance on various social issues and even “which eye-brow shape suits you best”.
You will learn that you will find your identity and purpose in what you believe, what you do and sometimes who you know.
So let me encourage you.
If (when) you go to university, don’t do it for the salary alone. Some of your friends (and possibly you) will do this and will find yourselves unfulfilled. But don’t be an idiot—you’ll need that nice pay check in order to pay for your impeccable good taste.
If (when) you find yourself surrounded by dead-weight people- run! These people will take from you until there’s nothing more to take so don’t wait till it’s too late,
If (when) you get involved in political or social issues, be balanced, read more and listen to those with opposing views. You are about to become part of a society where everyone is entitled to their very own loud (and sometimes ignorant) opinions.
If (when) you hate yourself, your life or that 15kgs that you’ve put on, remember that your words and thoughts are powerful weapons. You have the ability to shape each and every thought and feeling about yourself-so do this wisely.
Throughout the next few years a few terrible things will happen in your life and in the world. You will grieve, you will cry and you may even want to quit. These things will change everything about you. Again, there will be a lot of confusion. Everyone will seem to have the solutions, yet no one will have real answers. It will not be the apocalypse, so please ignore those voices in your head that tell you it is.
People will connect less in person and more via (what they will call) Twitter timelines and Tinder profiles. I know, that seems crazy, but it’ll happen. Whatever you do, don’t let your only friends be found on “Facebook.”
You will not succeed at all ventures you take up; it might feel like you have not succeeded at any. Remember that failure and loss are natural so embrace them and learn from them.
You will also have obsessively wonderful times! Drown yourself in these moments because you will cherish and hold on to them when you need them most.
By the way, you will date an amazing and wonderful man. So don’t be afraid of a man with an accent who is (sometimes) smarter and has seen more world than you because, if you let him, he just might take you to see the rest of it with him.
Lastly, remember that life is a beautiful disaster. Accept every second of unhappiness while equally embracing the happiness because that’s the only way you will truly be [unhappily] content.
With love
your learning and growing self
